NOW I’VE GOT YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
The grimmest [game] of all, of course, is “War.” [i]
-Eric Berne, Games People Play
Set up: Provoke me, so I can gather “evidence” to drop bombs!
Clinical example: Mrs. White and Mr. Black are in a committed relationship. Mrs. White secretly checks Mr. Black’s smartphone looking for “evidence” of infidelity. Mrs. White inevitably finds the naked photograph or text messages from Mr. Black’s new lover. This facilitates Mrs. White confronting Mr. Black. This is an aspect of the War game version of Hide & Seek, i.e., fighting terror attacks with surveillance and war. The difference is that in NIGYSOB! it is clear who is “it” and who is not.
Parentally, Mrs. White says, “Is there anything you want to tell me?” Mr. Black says, “No,” or quizzically and defensively responds, “I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Mr. Black’s lie authorizes Miss White to play Now I’ve Got You, You Son of a Bitch! (NIGYSOB!) Miss White’s seemingly benign search for prosecutorial offenses is driven by an ulterior motive: to release their fury on Mr. Black!
Therapy involving couples is frequently precipitated by this prosecution and defense dynamic. As a game, the couples therapy allows Mrs. White to present their evidence from the very get-go: “We are here because my husband cheated on me.” This places Mrs. White in a position to play Courtroom with the therapist. The Courtroom game sets up the therapist to act moralistically as judge and jury based on the presented “evidence.” The case Mrs. White presents is a con to invite the therapist to align with Mrs. White against Mr. Black: “See what a pig he is?” Mr. Black typically is hoofed with an insatiable appetite, which preys on the weakness of Dr. Black to align with Mrs. White even further.
Mrs. White is looking to add weight to her enforced punishment of Mr. Black. She will expect him to pay for her individual sessions, his individual sessions, and the couples therapy sessions. Her grin and delight at this power quietly announces: “Now I’ve Got You, You Son of a Bitch!” Between sessions, Mrs. White will ask questions based on their concealed insecurities: “Did you hold hands with her?” or “Did she set up the date?” or more provocatively, “What positions were you in?” Mrs. White is really trying to bust Mr. Black who will defensively say, “I’m not sure. I might have.”
Original game: In the original game Now I’ve Got You, You Son of a Bitch! (NIGYSOB!), White receives a home repair estimate for plumbing services. The plumber plays the role of Black as they assess the situation with the toilet or sink. This occurs while White analyzes Black and collects injustices. For example, the plumber doesn’t take off their shoes upon entry to the house or the plumber impolitely uses the bathroom. White surveils Black in the hopes that the plumber will slip up. Black is often playing their own Capitalism game of Cops & Robbers (C&R): “What extra charges? … You caught me this time.” [i]
Berne illustrates Now I’ve Got You, You Son of a Bitch! (NIGYSOB!) with White and Black agreeing on an estimate with “no extras.” However, after the plumbing services are rendered, the invoice is more than the original estimate. Eric Berne notes how White is “secretly delighted” at the error. Based on the plumber’s provocation, White is positioned to think, “I’m going to let you feel the full force of my fury.” [ii] Black’s passive provocation gives White license to attack out of self-righteous revenge: NIGYSOB! White thinks, “Who wouldn’t be angry in this situation?” In transactional analysis terms, White receives a free mad without guilt. Their rage is “justified.”
Thesis: In simple terms, White has the necessary evidence to drop real or metaphorical bombs on Black. This is based on real (attacks) or imagined (weapons of mass destruction) forms of injustices. Take the film John Wick starring Keanu Reeves. Retired assassin Wick, played by Reeves, is a legendary hitman. John Wick’s wife dies at the start of the film and part of her last wish is for him to receive a puppy to love. Wick resorts to violence after Russian gangsters steal his beloved car and kills his puppy. [ii] This injustice leads to Wick to seek revenge (“Don’t Set Him Off”) by killing no short of 77 people across the length of the film.
In the War game version of NIGYSOB!, the relatively minor infraction is weaponized by White to unleash their fury like John Wick. Black then retaliates against the fury. When Black’s inevitable retaliation occurs, it authorizes a claim of “self-defense.” This is levied despite the fact that White was in an offensive position. White was looking for provocations to license a game of Now I’ve Got You, You Son of a Bitch! For example, the U.S. begins occupying the Middle East, which provokes the 9/11 attacks. Two decades later, under the guise of the illusory “war on terror,” (see Hide & Seek) the U.S. enacts revenge on one of the “masterminds” who allegedly planned the attack.
Early in the morning of July 30th, 2022, the 71-year-old Ayman al-Zawahiri stepped out onto his balcony in an urban, residential area of Afghanistan. At the time, Al-Zawahiri was the emir of al Qaeda. He was assassinated by a missile shot from a U.S. drone at 1,000 miles per hour. The catch is that the missile did not have explosives in it. Instead, there were retractable and revolving swords or blades. The lethal slicing is what gives the AGM-114R9X Hellfire missile its nickname: the flying Ginsu bomb. The original Ginsu knife was marketed as being able to cut through anything, e.g., steel, bones, skulls, etc.
Kroker & Kroker (2022) describe such a drone strike scene of a Hellfire missile. Industrial technology meets medieval retribution:
…swords taking the form of fast spinning, lethal blades, instantly shredding through the metal of the targeted car and the bodies of its passengers. In this instance, it’s a technological suicide attack from the surrounding sky, putting aside him impact explosives in favour of a weapon, sword blades, taken right from the warrior culture of the medieval Christian Crusades. [iii]
In Technologies of the New Real, Kroker and Kroker refer to this act as “militarized space and time for revenge.” [iv] In their words, it is a “throwback” to a “medieval time”: perpetual warfare in the Middle East using swords. [v] The perception of the U.S. (White) is that that Al-Zawahiri (Black) caused injustices as bin Laden’s successor. He was the mastermind of terrorist plots such as 9/11. Al-Zawahiri met bin Laden when the CIA backed the mujahideen in the Afghan-Soviet War. The U.S. them to fight the communists. The “communist” always gets it the worst and usually first by the political establishment (see FOOLS).
From an existential position, the U.S. (White) is arrogantly anti-communist. When the declaration of “jihadists” (Black) is levied it is the same as labeling one a “communist” or “terrorist” or “pedophile.” (see Cancelled). They are not-OK and are impeding democracy is how the propaganda goes. Therefore, White (superior) must make Black (inferior) pay in a game of I’ll Show Them! This is not the indiscriminate or de-personalized violence of the Mass Shooter game. Ask al-Zawahiri’s friends and family members’ opinion on it as they bag up what was left of him. The only response could be “OMG” (see below). Terrorism begets terrorism.
On the psychological level, President Joe Biden’s public response to the extermination of al-Zawahiri is, “Who wouldn’t get angry under such conditions?” [vi] Joe Biden’s internal response to the assassination is, “Yeah! We got that Son of a Bitch! Thank you for giving me an excuse to get angry.” [vii] Biden’s rationalization for the sadistic act against an elderly man is based on an “objective” sense that anyone would get mad at these past provocations by al Qaeda (now in charge of Syria) and retaliate in the same manner. White is therefore guiltless and self-righteous! (NIGYSOB!). The Biden White House will show no mercy:
“You know, we—we make it clear again tonight that no matter how long it takes, no matter where you hide, if you are a threat to our people, the United States will find you and take you out.”

The message is clear: NIGYSOB! As noted, this War game is played from an arrogant and superior position. It is a disagreeable game aimed at global hegemony via extreme punishment. The emotional payoff is self-righteous anger: “Who wouldn’t carpet bomb Iraq in this situation?” The rageful self-righteousness is projected without a sense of guilt: “Hiroshima children got what they deserved.”
Even though World War II was over (thanks Soviet Union!), the U.S. (White) dropped two atomic bombs on Japan (Black). This was revenge for the provocational attack on Pearl Harbor. The game was a combination of I’ll Show Them and NIGYSOB! What is left out of the war narative equation was how civilian targets bore the impact of the atomic bombing.
The U.S. has been engaged in the maintenance of global hegemony and occupation ever since the conclusion of World War II. With about 800-900 military bases abroad, War games and perpetual foreign and domestic militarization are the means to maintain a supreme position.
For example, Howard Zinn notes in A People’s History of the United States that at the closing of the Vietnam war, seven million tons of bombs had been released on Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia. This was “more than twice the amount of bombs dropped on Europe and Asia in World War II.” [viii] Recall, it was the communist Soviet Union who prevailed over the fascists in World War II. Not the U.S. We just helped ethnically cleanse the Japanese civilians for being Japanese. And then drew a new map of the world.
According to author and journalist Chris Hedges, the American empire weaponizes bipartisan congressional support to perpetuate war. The bloated annual military budget utilizes half of all discretionary spending: $1 trillion. [ix] In a slight-of-hand, the profiteers of permanent war operate outside of the notion of supply and demand. These are not competitive markets. This profiteering erases any line “between the state and the corporation.” [x] For example, foreign “aid packages” are given to countries like Egypt or Israel while the research and development is funded by American taxpayers. This “assistance” requires that these governments are required to purchase American armaments and weapon systems:
The taxpayers fund the research, development, and building of weapons systems and then buy them on behalf of foreign governments. It is a bizarre circular system. It defies the concept of a free-market economy. These weapons systems are soon in need of being updated or replaced. They are hauled, years later, into junkyards, where they are left to rust. It is, in economic terms, a dead end. It sustains nothing but the permanent war economy. [xi]
Despite the political statements after the fall of the Soviet Union, the U.S. expanded and encircled Russia with NATO states. This is the same game maneuver as the plumber who claimed there would be “no extras” on the bill for White. Furthermore, the U.S.-led NATO expansion into Central and Eastern Europe has been a financial bonanza for the massive corporations who supply arms across the globe. In game analysis terms, the expansion was provocational: “Please Invade Ukraine.” The beneficiaries of the provocation are Lockheed Martin, Northrup Grumman, Raytheon, etc. Therefore, the illegal Russian invasion of Ukraine witnessed these weapons manufacturing’s stocks soaring in value. [xii] The Russians took the bait from the U.S.-led NATIO provocation and launched an invasion of Ukraine in February of 2022. This signals an “emergency” that was actually the start of a U.S. proxy war with Russia long in the making. For example, the U.S.-led and CIA-backed 2013-2014 coup of Ukraine:
The most straightforward explanation is that the US invaded Ukraine via the coup in 2013 – 2014, after which the CIA organized an army from existing Ukrainian militias and launched a genocidal war against ethnic Russians in Eastern Ukraine, with the apparent goal of drawing Russia into a war. [xiii]
The injustices were then rationalized based on the illegal invasion: NIGYSOB! White does not meet Black with peace-making and mercy, but rather, with self-righteous retaliation. Ukraine played Kick Me with Russia by bombing thousands in the Donbass region. This region has a population comprised of ethnically Russian people. What would Montreal’s response be if the U.S. was dropping bombs on the people of northern Vermont? It would likely be called a “Special Military Operation” aka the worst title for an illegal war ever with close seconds (“Gulf War,” “Desert Storm,” “Operation Enduring Freedom”).
The ethnic cleansing provoked Russia and allowed the U.S. to play the Connection role in arming Ukraine. The Media game was to say Russia was in the Aggressor role and Ukraine was in the Victim role. The ulterior motive had always been to curb the energy alliance between Europe’s dependence on Russian gas exports. Before the Russia-Ukraine war started, the Biden administration devised a plot to destroy the Nordstream 2 pipeline. The heavily industrialized Germany could not become dependent on cheap Russian energy.
On February 7th, 2022, Joe Biden took questions at a joint news conference with a German Chancellor. Biden said, “If Russia invades... again, then there will be longer Nord Stream 2. We will bring an end to it.” When Biden was asked how the seizure of the pipeline would take place, he said, “I promise you we will be able to do it.” [xiv] In game analysis terms, “When the Russians ‘Kick’ Ukraine we will play a proxy game of NIGYSOB!” As an aside, in the future, confrontation amongst the superpowers of Earth will play out by proxy in low Earth orbit. [xv]
One day following the February 2022 Russian invasion, Biden said this:
“Yesterday, after further close consultations between our two governments, Germany announced that it would halt certification of the pipeline. Today, I have directed my administration to impose sanctions on Nord Stream 2 AG and its corporate officers. These steps are another piece of our initial tranche of sanctions in response to Russia’s actions in Ukraine. As I have made clear, we will not hesitate to take further steps if Russia continues to escalate.”
Psychologically speaking, Joe Biden was conveying, “Thank you for giving me an excuse to get revenge.” Also, “No one can reasonably blame me for getting arming-up under such conditions.” Internally, he is free from moral constraints and fault. The U.S. gets a “free” mad without guilt, [xvi] as they play the Connection role with Ukraine. Our attitude toward Russia is, “So now I’ve got you!” Lenin understood the state as an elite organizational force of violence and that it is used to suppress another class of people. [xvii] The violence that predates the spectacle of war is an invisibilized occupation of people (see Occupation game). The history of these “injustices” must be examined as the initial violence before the NIGYSOB! game. The Media games support this erasure of memory by emphasizing the date “it” or a period in time “happened.” (e.g., 9/11, “Covid,” January 6th, February 2022, October 7th, etc.).
ANALYSIS
Thesis: Kick Me, so I can let out my fury with the help of my Connection.
Antithesis: An appropriate response: peace via friendliness and mercy.
Aim: Justification, revenge, and maintenance of power.
Roles: Victim, Aggressor, Connection
Dynamics: Jealous rage, child abuse, global hegemony.
Examples: (1) I caught you this time. (2) Jealous partner. (3) War.
Social Paradigm: Adult-Adult
Adult: “See, you have done wrong.”
Adult: “Now that you draw it to my attention, I guess I have.”
Psychological Paradigm: Parent-Child.
Parent: “I’ve been watching you, hoping you’d make a slip.”
Child: “You caught me this time.”
Parent: “Yes, and I’m going to let you feel the full force of my fury.”
Moves: (1) Provocation—Accusation. (2) Defense—Accusation. (3) Defense—Punishment.
Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological—justification for rage. (2) External psychological—avoids confrontation of own deficiencies. (3) Internal Social—NIGYSOB. (4) External Social—they’re always out to get you. (5) Biological—belligerent exchanges, usually ipsisexual. (6) Existential—people can’t be trusted. [xviii]
References
[i] p. 50, Berne, E. (1964). Games people play: The psychology of human relationships. New York, NY: Grove Press, Inc.
[ii] “John Wick”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wick
[i] p. 86, Berne, E. (1964). Games people play: The psychology of human relationships. New York, NY: Grove Press, Inc.
[ii] p. 85 & 86, Berne, E. (1964). Games people play: The psychology of human relationships. New York, NY: Grove Press, Inc.
[iii] p. 100, Kroker, A. and Kroker, M. (2022). Technologies of the new real: Viral contagion and death of the social. Toronto: University of Toronto Press.
[iv] p. 99, Kroker, A. and Kroker, M. (2022). Technologies of the new real: Viral contagion and death of the social. Toronto: University of Toronto Press.
[v] p. 100, Kroker, A. and Kroker, M. (2022). Technologies of the new real: Viral contagion and death of the social. Toronto: University of Toronto Press.
[vi] p. 341, Berne, E. (1972). What do you say after you say hello?: The psychology of human destiny. New York: Grove Press, Inc.
[vii] p. 341, Berne, E. (1972). What do you say after you say hello?: The psychology of human destiny. New York: Grove Press, Inc.
[viii] p. 469, Zinn, H. (1995). A people’s history of the United States: 1492—present. Revised and updated edition. First HarperPerennial: New York.
[ix] p. 167, Hedges, C. (2022). The greatest evil is war. New York: Seven Stories Press.
[x] p. 168, Hedges, C. (2022). The greatest evil is war. New York: Seven Stories Press.
[xi] p. 167, Hedges, C. (2022). The greatest evil is war. New York: Seven Stories Press.
[xii] p. 171, Hedges, C. (2022). The greatest evil is war. New York: Seven Stories Press.
[xiii] Urie, R. (January 19, 2024). “The End of the World as We Know It: Wars Abroad, Rising Tensions at Home.” Retrieved on February 5, 2024 from
[xiv] Reuters (February 7, 2022). “If Russia invades Ukraine, there will be no Nord Stream 2, Biden says.” Retrieved on February 5, 2024 from https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/if-russia-invades-ukraine-there-will-be-no-nord-stream-2-biden-says-2022-02-07/
[xv] p. 226, Napoleoni, L. (2024). Technocapitalism: The rise of the new robber barons and the fight for the common good. Seven Stories Press: New York.
[xvi] p. 14, Berne, E. (1972). What do you say after you say hello?: The psychology of human destiny. New York: Grove Press, Inc.
[xvii] p. 22, Lenin, V.I. (2011). State and revolution. Martino Publishing: Connecticut. Written in 1917 (first published in 1918).
[xviii] p. 86, Aspects of this are quoted verbatim from the original game to reinforce the analysis of a common American game. Berne, E. (1964). Games people play: The psychology of human relationships. New York, NY: Grove Press, Inc.